so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
