she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
