I just saw a hot homeless man
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
At least life still wants to fuck me.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
