all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
