Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
