i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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