I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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