I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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