There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
