Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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