what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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