I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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