His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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