dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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