I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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