there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
