Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
