yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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