I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
