why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
