I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
