And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
