Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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