I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
