i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize