Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i think i have two assholes
Girls should come with a carfax report
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
