Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
