Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize