I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
