you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
tell me about the eggs
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
