worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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