First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
