I feel like I'm in dance class right now
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
