shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize