Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
