My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize