I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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