i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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