Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
