hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
