Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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