I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
