Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
No more Irish car bombs ever.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
