he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
