I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize