Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I need to wash the frat house off of me
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
