i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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