im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize