I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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