it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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