i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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