sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
