What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
