but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
