I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
