Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Slut skills are useful in every country.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
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I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But break dance skills will only take you so far
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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