I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
