id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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