I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
