I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
third nipple confirmed
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
