ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
