I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
