Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She's the barista slut.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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