@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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