he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
